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I hold that I love,
As here you may see,
Yet love not too much
Lest you be like me.



Liberal Science:

A new-found-ART and ORDER


A true Description of their School and Library, the Degrees taken there, The Tongues Studied there, The several Titles proper to the Professors of that Art, both Civil and Martial, Viz.

To { The Universitie men.
The Inns of Court and Chancery.
The Army and Souldiery.
The Sea-men, or Seller-service-men.

Penal Statutes enacted in Drinking, Proverbs used amongst them, with diversdivers: diverse. Stories of such whom immoderate Drinking hath made ridiculous.

London, Printed by B.A.B.A.: Bernard Alsop; a Grub-street printer and publisher who produced many political pamphlets and quartos in the mid-seventeenth century. However, a Robert Raworth was the printer of Philocothonista, and it is unlikely that B.A. had official permission to edit and reprint this material. near the Upper Pump in Grub-street,Grub-street: a street near Moorfields in London (now Milton-street), much inhabited by writers of small histories, dictionaries, and temporary poems (OED). 1650.


The new


Or School of


The Diveldivel: devil. is the father of lies, and Drunkenness the Author of mischiefs; yet saith our witty drunkards the Devill cannot be our father. For the ancient Proverb saith, in vino veritas, in wine there is truth; the Drunkard tells truth, which speaks us to be of no kin to the Divel; indeed there is no such vice but he that is


accustomed to it hath a colour for it.

The originall or beginning of Drunkenness hath been much disputed among our Bachanalians,Bachanalians: Followers of Bacchus, the God of Wine; that is, drunks (OED). but generally concluded in Noah,Refers to Gen 9:21-25, when Noah lies drunk and naked in his tent and is seen by his youngest son, but covered and unseen by his older sons. and if thereit had its rise, it brought forth with it that accursed sin of incest,Noah, his three sons, and their wives made up the eight people who left the ark after the Great Flood wiped out all people, so the next generation of children must marry their first cousins. which was the cause of divers other sins not much inferior, from all which I do heartily pray this Nation may be acquitted of.

There is no Nation or kingdome that is totally clear of this vice; and this Nation of ours, now taken to be most addicted to it, that our accustomed terms and phrases used in our quaffing cups, by other Nations are cast in our dishes.Perhaps England is so full of drunkards that drinking terminology is engraved on their dishes. This political statement is not in the Philocothonista, but a large section deals with different designs and kinds of drinking vessels. Drinking was so conventional that having expensive dishes became a mark of social pride: "Come to plate, Every Taverne can afford you flat bowles, French bowles, Prounct Cups, Beare-bowles, Beakers, and private houshoulders in the Citie, when they make a Feast to entertaine their friends, can furnish their cupbords, with Flagons, Tankards, Beere cups. Wine-bowles, some whire, some percell guilt, some guilt all over, some with covers, others without, of sundry shapes and qualities. Many can make showes of 50. pounds, or an hundred Marke-worth of plate upon his Table, when hee hath scare an hundred shillings to dance in his pocket, and that makes the proverbe to grow so common amongst them. A good pawne never shames his master" (EEBO).

Yet to let those Nations know, they come not far short of us, I will give you a taste of their vinosity.vinosity: fondness for or addiction to wine (OED).

The Danes have made a profession thereof from Antiquity, and are the first upon record that brought their wassel-bowls,wassel-bowls: drinking vessels. To "keep wassail" is to sit carousing and toasting (OED). and elbow deep healthselbow deep healths: very large toasts. into this land: it would ask too long a discourse to tell when and how the Swethians, Norwayians, Finlander, Loplander,Loplander: Laplanders; people from Lapland, a region of northern Europe confined largely to the Arctic circle (EBrO). Greenlander, with other inferior nations, all bred in cold climats, love to warm themselves within, and where Wine is wanting they have confecti-


ons made of honey, and other ingredients, with which they will drink themselves so far out of their fences, that though they be uncovered upon the Ice or frozen earth hid with snow in the very depth of their winter yet for the present they are not sensible of the bitter weather, or airs distemperature.

It is further observed that the Cooler the Climats are, the more the inhabitants are addicted to strong and intoxicating drinks, of which they provide themselves great plenty and much variety.

The Italians are something moderate; yet at certain times, either at the Celebration of publick feasts, or private Banquets, they will take their rouse freely though not commonly. The French are our neighbors, I will spare to speak much of them, but it seems they love the best of their own Grapes so well that they keep the choice and chief wines to themselves, and send the smallest and refuse into England, and other Countries. The Spaniards notwithstanding they have such choice and plenty, yet are they to be commended for their temperance, drunkennesse being a vice, so much hated generally amongst them, that whosoever hath been noted to be a Delinquent in that land,


he is neither admitted to be of any Jury, neither in his best sobriety will his evidence be taken in any matter of controversie. The Transilvanians, Wallachians,Wallachians: people of Wallachia, a former nation situated on the lower Danube River. It joined Moldovia to form Romania in 1859 (EBrO). Hungarians, Bohemians, Polanders, & c. for the most part drink after the Dutch, neither can any of these free Principalities and Provinces belonging to the Empire be freed of the great aspersion, which is layd upon whole Germany in generall. The Russian, hath his quaffe. The Scot, his ale. The Welch, Metheglin.Metheglin: an alcoholic beverage made from fermented honey and water, more commonly called mead (EBrO). The Irish Usqueba’h,Usqueba’h, from Celtic usquebaugh: whisky. and none of these but hath sometimes the operation to make midday, look with them like midnight. But from other natiõs,natiõs: nations; using "õ" for "on" is an early print convention. I return now to our English Drunkards, we by comparing their riots, excesses, intemperances, surfeits, varieties of drinks, and choice ways of quaffing with ours frequent in our land, shall easily find, that we are so far from coming short of them, in any one thing, that we apparently exceed them in all things; first whereas other languages afford but some few words, as among the Grecians Phylocothonista; the Latines, Ebrius or Bibax; the Spaniards, Borachio; the French, Yurogne;Yurogne: modern French "ivrogne." the Italian, Boraco and so of the rest: The words in this list are different translations of the word "drunkard." To title a Drunkard by, we strive to character him in a more


mincing and modest phrase, as thus.

The titles they give one to another.

He is a good fellow.
A boon Companion.
A mad Greek.
A true Trojan.
A stiffe Blade. stiffe blade: a drunk easygoing person (OED).
A found Card. card: clever, audacious person (OED).
A merry Comrade.
A Low-Country Souldier.
One that will take his rouse.take one's rouse: carouse.
One that will drink deep, though it be a mile to the bottom.
One that knows how the Cards are dealt.
One that will be flush of all four.flush of all four: to have a hand with many cards of all suits.
One that will be as subtile as a Fox.
One that will drink till the ground looks blew.
One that will wind up his bottoms.
One that bears up stiff.
One whose nose is dirty.
One whom Brewers horse hath bitte.
One that can relish all waters.
One that knows of which side his bread is butter'd
One that drinks Upse-Freeze.Upse-Freeze: upsy Friese; a mode of heavy drinking, after the fashion of Friesland, a province in the Netherlands (OED).


One that drinks Supernaculum.Supernaculum: turning up the emptied cup or glass on one’s left thumb-nail, to show all the liquor has been drunk; hence, to the last drop (OED).
One that lays down his cares and drinks.
One that can sup of his Cyder.
He is true blew, &c.

The new order of drinking lately come up amongst us called a Drinking-school, or Library, the degrees taken in the School: the tongues and books which they studie, with the several titles proper to the Professors of that Art.

There is now professed an eighth liberal Art or science, called Ars bibendi,Ars bibendi: Latin for "art of drinking," in the standard of calling scholarly arts by Latin names. the Art of drinking. The Students or professors thereof call a green garland, or painted hoop hanged out, a Colledge; a sign where there is lodging, mans meat, and horse meat an Inne of Court, an Hall, or an Hostle; where nothing is sold but Ale & Tobacco, Grammar School: A red or blew Lettice they term a free School for all commers.This list of signs of schools is actually a list of signs for taverns.

Now we know in all Schools there are severall degrees to be attained unto, therefore they in their deep understandings, and profound Judgement, have thought it expedient to call,

A fat Corpulent fellow, A Master of Art.

A lean drunkard, A Batchelor.

He that hath a purple face, inchec't with


Rubies, and such other Ornaments, A Batchelor of Law.

He that hath a Red-nose, A Doctour.

And he that goeth to School by six of the clock in the morning and hath his lesson perfect by eleven him they hold to be, a Pregnant Scholler,Pregnant Scholler: pregnant scholar; a resourceful and quick-witted student. and grace him with that title.

Now before they go to study, at what time of the day or night soever, it is fit to know what language.

If the English tongue,
He drinks.
Ale.Ale: an intoxicating liquor made from an infusion of malt by fermentation (OED).
If the Dutch, Beer.Beer: an alcoholic liquor obtained by the fermentation of malt (or other saccharine substance), flavoured with hops or other aromatic bitters. Formerly distinguished from ale by being hopped (OED).
If the Spanish, Sack or Canary.Sack: general name for a class of wines formally imported from Spain and the Canaries. Canary wine is a light, sweet type of this wine (OED).
If the Italian, Bastard.Bastard: a sweet kind of Spanish wine, resembling muscatel in flavour; sometimes applied to any kind of sweetened wine (OED).
If the Grecian, Rennish or Palermo.Rhenish and Palermo: wines from the Rhine and Palermo in Sicily.
If the Irish, Usqueba'he.Usqueba'he, from Celtic usquebaugh: whisky.
If Welch, Metheglin.Metheglin: spiced or medicated variety of mead (OED).
If Latine, Alligant.Alligant: alicant; a kind of wine made at Alicante in Spain. (OED).
If Greek, Muskadell.Muskadell: muscatel; any of various sweet wines made from muscat or similar grapes (OED).
If Hebrew, Hypocras.Hypocras: a cordial drink made of wine flavoured with spices (OED).

The Books which they study, and whole leaves they turn over, are for the most part three of the old translation and three of the new: Those of the old translation:

First, the Tankard,


Secondly, the Black-Jack.Black-Jack: a large leather jug for beer, etc. coated externally with tar (OED).

Thirdly, the Quart-pot rib'd,or Thorondell,

Those of the new, be these.

First, the Jug.
Secondly, the Beaker.
Thirdly, the double or single Can or Black-pot.Black-pot: beer mug.

You hear what the books most in use among them are, it follows now, as a thing necessary, to make known unto you what the professors be, or at least what titles they have amongst them.

He that weeps in his cups, and is Maudlen drunk,Maudlen drunk: having reached a drunken state of tearful sentimentality and effusive displays of affection (OED).
Hydromancie.Hydromancie: hydromancy; divination derived from signs in water or the pretended appearance of spirits in the water (OED).
He that Laughs and Talks much, Natural Philosophy.Natural Philosophy: the study of natural bodies and the phenomena connected with them; natural science (OED).
He that gives good counsel, Morality.Morality: ethical wisdom; knowledge of moral science (OED).
He that builds Castles in the Air, Metaphisicks.Metaphysicks: metaphysics; a branch of philosophy that deals with things beyond the scope of scientific inquiry, such as questions about being, time and space, causation, change, and identity (OED).
He that sings in his drink, Musick.
He that disgorgeth his Stomack, Physick.Physick: physic; the science of the human body, its diseases, and their treatment; medical science (OED).
He that brags of his travels, Cosmography.Cosmography: the science that describes and maps the general features of the universe (heavens and earth) without encroaching on the specialized sciences of astronomy or geography (OED).
He that rimes ex tempore,ex tempore: extempore; to speak without premeditation or notes of any kind (OED). or speaks Play-speeches. Poetry.


He that cries Tril-lilTril-lil: to drink with the sound of flowing liquid (OED). boys is a Rhetorician.Rhetorician: a teacher of rhetoric; the art of using language to persuade or influence others and rules which must be followed in order for the speaker to express him or herself with eloquence (OED).
He that cals his fellow Drunkard, a Logician.Logician: a student skilled in logic or reasoning. Logic is the branch of philosophy that treats the forms of thinking in general, especially of inference and scientific method (OED).
He that proves his argument by a Pamphlet or Ballad, a Grammarian.Grammarian: One versed in the knowledge of grammar or language; a philologist (one devoted to learning or literature). Grammar is the study of the means of indicating the relation of words in a sentence and the rules for employing these with established usage. Grammar is also the phoenitc system of a language and the ways to express it in writing (OED).
He that rubs of his score with his elbow, hat, or cloak, an Arithmetician.Arithmetician: one who is proficient in the science of numbers (OED).
He that knocks his head against a post, then looks up to the Skie, an Astronomer.Astronomer: one skilled in the knowledge of the heavenly bodies. Astronomy is the science which deals with the constitution, relative positions, and motions of the heavenly bodies; outside the earth and also the earth’s relationship to them (OED).
He that reels from one side of the channel to another, a Geometrician.Geometrician: one who studies geometry, the science of investigating the properties and relations of magnitudes in space, as lines, surfaces, and solids (OED).
He that going hemewards fals into a ditch or chanel, a Navigator.Navigator: a sailor skilled and experienced in navigation, or responsible for directing the course of a particular vessel. Also: a person who conducts an exploration by sea (OED).
He that looseth himself in his discourse, a Mooter.Mooter: one who raises a matter for discussion (OED).
He that brawls and wrangles in his cups, a Barrester.Barrester: a student of the law who has the privilege of practicing as advocate in the superior courts of law after having been called to the bar (a particular court of law).

He that loves to drink in hugger-mugger,hugger-mugger: concealment, secrecy (OED). a __________ Bencher.Bencher:one who officially sits on a bench in court (OED).

He that drinks to al comers, __________ young Student.

He that hath no money in his purse, but drinks on trustdrinks on trust: the seller's trust that the cost of the patron's alcohol will be repaid in the future. a __________ Merchant venturer.merchant venturer: a businessperson engaged in the organization and dispatch of trading expeditions overseas, and the establishment of factories and trading stations overseas.

He that in his wine is nothing els but complementcomplement: complete (OED)., a __________ Civilian.Civilian: one who studies Civil Law.

He that drinks and forgets to whom, is said to study the __________ Art of Memory. Art of Memory: the study of mnemonic devices; a system of techniques to assist and improve the memory.


Phrases borrowed from several Courts, with places of Dignity both Civil, and Martial.

He that plucks his friend or acquaintance into a Tavern or tipling-housetipling-house: business or public house that sells alcohol. To tipple is to sell or drink liquor (OED). perforce, is call'd a __________ Sergeant. Sergeant: servant, attendant, or common soldier.

He that quarrels with his Hostesse, and cals her Whore, __________ Puts in his Declaration.Puts in his Declaration: Plea to the Declaration meant one of two options for the defendant: "either to demur on the ground that the pleading was insufficient in law, or plead to the declaration."(Lloyd, 300)

He that is silent or tongue-tied in his cups, is said to __________ Demur.Demur: hesitate or delay. upon the PlaintiffPlaintiff: one who brings a suit (complaint) into a court of law.

He that ingrosseth all the talk to himself, is call'd __________ Foreman of the Jury.Foreman of the Jury: appointed leader of a company of persons sworn to render a verdict or answer to some question posed to them; usually in a court of law.

He that with his loud talk deafens all the company, __________ Cryer of the Court.Cryer of the Court:Crier of the Court:officer in a court of justice who makes official announcements.

He that takes upon him to make the reckoning, __________ Pronounceth Judgement.Pronounceth Judgment:Pronounces Judgement: making the decision on law, or judgement of the court, which was frequently made by the judge, without a jury.

He that wants money, and another man pays for is __________ Quit by Proclamation.Proclamation: authoritative announcement or statement; made by anyone.(OED)

He that gives his Host or Hostesse a Bill of his hand, is said to be __________ Sav'd by his Clergy.Sav'd by his Clergy: the privilege of arraigned clergymen to claim edexemption from trial by a secular court. The ability to read was originally the "test of the clergy."(SOURCE?)


He that is so free that he will pledge all commers, __________ Attourney General.Attourney Genderal: Attorney General: legal officer of the state empowered to act in all cases in which the state is a party.

He that wears a night-cap having been sick of a Surfeit,surfeit: action that exceeds the limits of the law, or an over-indulgence of food and drink. __________ Sergeant of the Coyffe.Coyffe: night-cap.

He that is observed to be drunk but once a week __________ An ordinary Pursevant.Pursevant: royal or state messenger with the power to execute warrants; a warrant officer.

He that takes his rowserowse: a full draught of liquor, or a bout of drinking (from "carousel." freely but once in a moneth, a __________ Sub-Sheriffe.Sub-sheriffe:Sub-Sheriff: subordinate official.

He that healthshealth: to drink to health or healths (OED). it but once in a Quarter, a __________ Justice of Peace.Justice of peace: inferior magistrate appointed to preserve the peace in a county or town.

And he that takes his rowse but twice a year, __________ Judge of a Circuit.Circuit: a court held periodically in principal towns.

There be likewise belonging to this Art, or Science divers places of respect and dignity, both Civil and Martial; of the Civil first.

He that is unruly in his cups, swaggers, and flings pots and drawers down stairs, breaks glasses, and


beats the fidlers about the room, they call by the name of __________ Major Domo.Major-Domo: head servant in a wealthy Italian or Spanish household.

He that cuts down signs bushes or letticeslattice: alehouses and inns were commonly marked by a window of lattice-work, often painted red (OED). __________ Master Controuler.

He that can win the favour of the hostesses daughter to lie with her, __________ Principal Secretary.Principal Secretary: A prominent governmental position established in the Elizabethan era, replaced by a variety of secretarial positions after the Restoration (World History Database).

He that stands upon his strength, and begins new healths, __________ Mr. of the Ceremonies.Mr of the Ceremonies: Master of the Ceremonies:officer of the British Royal household who superintended state ceremonies and was responsible for the enforcement of court etiquette.

He that is the first to begin new frolicks, __________ Mr. of the Novelties.Mr. of Novelties: Master of the Novelties: one responsible for entertainment at court during the Elizabethan era. (Oxford Dictionary of the Renaissance). However, after 1576 this position was responsible for the licensing of plays and had the power to imprison.

He that flings Cushions, Napkins, and Trencherstrencher: a knife or a flat piece of wood on which meat was served and cut up (OED). about the room, __________ Mr. of Mis-rule.Mr. of Mis-rule: Master of Mis-rule: one chosen to reside over games and other revelry during the Christmas period, especially in wealthy households. A reversal of roles was often an aspect of such revelry, so the person chosen was often of a low status.

He that wanting mony is forc'd to pawn his Cloak, __________ Master of the Wardrobe.

He that calls for Rashersrasher: a thin slice of bacon or ham intended for boiling or frying (OED). pickle-Disters, Pickle-Disters: pickled oysters, in original publication in Phylocothonista. or Anchova's, __________ Clerk of the Kitchen. Clerk of the Kitchen: officer in charge of the records, correspondence, and accounts of any court and superintends its general business.

He that talks much, and speakes nonsense, is called a __________ Proctour.Proctour: Proctor: one employed to manage the affairs of someone else; an agent, proxy, or attorney (OED).


He that tels tedious and long tales, __________ Register.Register: One who formally sets down facts in writing.

He that takes the tale out of another mans mouth, __________ Publick Notary.Publick Notary: Public Notary: one authorized to perform certain legal formalities; a lawyer.

The Martiall degrees follow in the next place; and their order thus.

He that drinks in his boots, and gingling-spursgingling-spurs: a gingling match is a diversion in which all players are blindfolded except one, who rings a bell in each hand while the others try to catch him., is called a __________ Collonel of a Regiment.collonel of a regiment: superior officer of a military regiment, either infantry or cavalry.

He that drinks in silk-stockings, and silk-garters __________ Captain of a Foot Company.captain of a foot company: one responsible for commanding a company of foot artillery soldiers..

He that flings pottlepottle: a container for alcohol. and quart pots down stairs, __________ Marshall of the Field.Marshall of the Field: one responsible for the military camp and sustenance for the troops; subordinate to the captain.

He that begins three healths together to go round the table, __________ Master of the Ordnance.Master of the Ordnance: one with control or authority over military materials such as artillery.

He that calls first in al the company for a Looking-glasse, __________ Camp-Master.camp-master: a common term used in France for a staff-officer for infantry regiments. The French are commonly viewed as Fops (a fop is foolishly vain to his appearance, dress, or manners).

He that waters the faggotsfaggot: a bundle of small branches from trees tied together to be used for fuel. by pissing in the Chimney, __________ Corporall of the field.corporall of the field: superior army officer who acted as an assistant to the sergeant-major.


He that thunders in room and beats the Drawers, __________ Drum Major.drum major: a non-commissioned officer who has command of the drummers of a regimental band.

He that looks red, and colors in his drink, __________ Ensign-Bearer.ensign-bearer: soldier that carries the military banner or flag. Officers of the lowest grade in the infantry bore this title.

He that thrusts himself into company, and hangs upon others, __________ Gentleman of a Company.gentleman of a company: a humorous or slang term for a proper gentleman; one who is of gentle birth, though not nobility, and is entitled to bear arms. The company is a sub-division of an infantry regiment, commanded by a Captain.

He that keeps company and hath but two pence to spend, __________ Lansprizado.Lansprizano: minor officer of the lowest grade; a lance-corporal.

He that pockets up gloves, knives, or Handkerchers, __________ Sutler.sutler: one who follows an army or lives in a garrison town and sells provisions to the soldiers (OED).

He that drinks three days together with out respite, __________ An Old-Souldier.old souldier: one who used to serve in the army, or who has served in it a long time; or one who is much practised or experienced in something; worldly-wise (OED).

He that swears and lies in his drink, __________ An Intelligencer intelligencer: one who conveys intelligence or information (OED)..

Of their Seasservice: Their new terms for new Paradoxes, &c.

Having past the degrees, both Civill, and Martiall. It follows in the next place, that we come to take a view of the Sea, or rather, Seller-service; of which we have already made this Querequere: a small book containing literary work (OED)..

School of Drunkennesse.

He that having over-
drunk himself offers his stomack, in
his next fellows
Boots or Shooes
they call,  
Admirall of the Narrow-Seas. 
He that pisseth under
the Table to offend
their shoes or stockings,  
He that is first flan'd A vessel may flan or expand towards the top OR flan can mean a sudden burst or gust of wind. The joke here: the man breaks wind
in the company before the rest,  
Master of a Ship.  
He that is the second,
that is drunk at the
He that slovenly spillith his drink upon
the Table,  
He that privately and
closely stealeth his
Pyrat of the Narrow-Seas.  
He that is suddenly taken with the hitch- up,**   Master Gunner.  
He that is still smoaking with the pipe
at his nose,  

The new Order, or

He that belcheth either
backward or forward,  

      I come now to the penal Statutes enacted for divers forfeitures, upon most grave and mature deliveration, as followeth.

No man must call a Good-Fellow Drunkard, for that is a name of reproach and indignity, as quite extermin'd out of their learned Society: But if at any time they spie that defect one in another, they may without any forfeit or just exceptions taken, say, He is Foxt, He is Flaw'd, He is Fluster'd, He is Suttle, Cupshot, Cut in the Leg or Back, He hath seen the French King, He hath swallowed an Hair or a Tavern-Token, He hath whipt the Cat, He hath been at the Scriveners and learned to make Indentures, He hath bit his Grannam, or is bit by a Barn Weasel, with an hundred such like adages and sentences, extracted out of the most Authentick Authors in their Library,

Sundry Terms and Titles proper to their
young Students.

He that makes himself
a laughing stock to the
whole company, is
call'd a  
Tenant in Fee-simple.  


School of Drunkenness.

He that will be still
smowching and kissing his hostesse behind the door,  
Tenant in-tail special.  
He that will be still kissing all commers in   Tenant in-tail general.  
He that is three parts
fort, and will be kissing,  
Tenant in-tail after
possibility of Issue
He that is permitted to
take a nap, and to
Tenant by the curtesie De Angliter.  
If two or three women
meet twice or thrice
a week, to take Gossips cups, they are  
Tenants in dower.  
He that hath the disposing of a donative amongst his comrades,   Tenant in Frank-Almain.  
He whose head seems
heavier than his heels,
holds in  
He whose heels are heavier than his head,
holds in  
All Gentlemen-Drunkards, Schollers and
Souldiers, hold in  
Knights service.  



The new Order, or,

He that drinks nothing
but Sack, and Aqua-
vitæ, holds by  
Grand serientry.  
He that drinks onely
Ale or Beer, holds by  
Petit serientry.  
He that drinks uncovered, with his head bare,   Tenders his homage.  
He that humbles him-
self to drink on his
Doth his fealty.  
He that hu~teth the Taverns, or Tap-houles
when he comes, first
to age,  
Pays his relief.  
He that hath sold and
morgaged all the
Land he hath,  
Sueth for his Livery.  
He whose wife goeth
with him to the Tavern or Ale-house, is  
A Free-holder.  
He whose wife useth to
fetch him home from
the Library, is a  
Tenant at will.  
He that articles with
his hostesse about the
reckoning, is a  
He that staggering supports himself by a    


wall or a post, holds
by the______________________ Verge


Certain learned Proverbs, and proper Phrases belonging to the Library,

As to drink Upse-phreese, Supernaculum, to swallow a Slap-dragon, or a raw Egg: Then to see that no lesse than three at once be bare to a health. And of Proverbs, these and the like. He that drinks red, gains by the colour. A pound of care will not pay an ounce of debt. A raw stomack makes a rumatick head, &c.

Divers stories of such whom immoderate Drink- ing hath made ridiculous.

A Serving-man much overtaken with wine, when he perceived that he could bear no more, stole out of the Tavern by a backdoor, and passing through a dark and narrow lane, late in the night, when the Moon shined very bright and clear, and at length comming to crosse Cheap-side, to go into Friday-street, he presently began to apprehend that the shadow in which he stood, was the shore, and the Moon-shine a Rider, (for he directly conceited



it to be water) therefore he first called aloud, a Boat, a Boat but hearing none to make him answer (for who would but imagine him to be some drunkard or madman) he next bethought himself, it might be possible for him to wade over, in which conceit he laid by his cloak, plukt off his Boots and Stockings, and then his Breeches: when drawing up his shirt to the highest, he laid the rest of the luggage upon his shoulders, and staying himself upon his Sword, put on foot first softly into the Moon-shine, and finding the Channel firm under him, he adventured the other; and wading further, and further, in great fear and supposed difficulty, at last got over to the Shore, and then fell devoutly to his prayers thanking those powers who had granted unto him such a happy and safe passage. The Watch, sitting close, seeing and perceiving all that was done and said, let him alone till he had wiped himself dry and put on his cloaths, and then shewed themselves, and told him

two of them to see him safe to his lodging.

Another Drunkard comming homeward late over the fields, thinking to passe a bridge, slipt into the ditch, where he stood knee deep in water, and not able to get out, in that posture fell fast asleep; towards morning one passing that way heard him first muttering and grumbling to himself, at length, turning to one side, he said, aloud, thou Whore, why doest thou not lay more cloathes upon my feet?

Before the old Exchange The Old Exchange: built in London by Sir T. Gresham in 1566. In the 17th century it is sometimes called the Old Exchange, to distinguish it from the New Exchange in the Strand, built by the Earl of Salisbury in 1609 (OED) was built, the Merchants kept their meeting in Lombard-street,Lombard-street: The name of a street in London, so called because originally occupied by Lombard bankers, and still containing many of the principal London banks (OED) whare dwelt a plain honest old man, called Father Garret, who having plaidplaid: played the good-fellow a whole night together amongst his Countreymen (which was not usual) and drinking a Cup or two too much, it was morning before his wife and maid could get him into his warm bed where he slept soundly; and waking about noon (his eyes being gumm'd together, so that he could not well open them) he groped by the beds-side for the Chamber-pot,Chamber-pot: A vessel used in a bedchamber for urine and perceiving it to be ful, he rose up, opened the CasementCasement: A frame or sash forming a window or part of a window, opening on hinges attached to the upright side of the frame in which it is fixed (which


was toward the street) and powred it out upon some of the Merchants heads, who after they had well shok their hats and cloaks, called to him by his name and said; Why how now Father Garret, what do you mean by this? who putting his head again out at the window, made them this answer; MarryMarry: Expressing surprise, astonishment, outrage, etc., or used to give emphasis to one's words. (Often in response to a question, expressing surprise or indignation that it should be asked) it is to teach you for walking abroad so late at midnight.

It was somewhat more wittily put off by him, who living in a Chamber, over-heard where the watch was set beneath and emptied a Chamber-pot upon their heads; who calling unto him, and asking him why he had used them so slovenly, he demanded of them, Who they were that questioned it? They told him they were the Watch: why then saith he, Harm watch, harm catch, Harm watch, Harm catch: This proverb intimates that malice, spite, and envy are generally self-murderer, that to contrive, study or intend any harm to out neighbours is "Birdlime" (A glutinous substance spread upon twigs, by which birds may be caught and held fast (OED)) all over (www.fromoldbooks.org) and so shut to the Casement.

A Loader or Miller in the Country was such a notorious swaggerer, and so dangerous in his drink, that none of the Townsmen durstdurst: past tense of dare keep him company, unlesse he would first put off his great basket hilt Basket-Hilt: A hilt provided with a defence for the swordsman's hand, consisting of narrow plates of steel curved into the shape of basket dagger (which was a swords fellow, and still wore about him) and lay it by; which at their


request he upon a time had done; the fashion was to wear great broad Belts of Leather, buckled about their wastes: They having drunk their dozens round, and he among the rest being flustered, the motion was made to break up company; when the rest rose, he sitting upon the Bench side, and groping for his Dagger behind, he happened upon a JordaneJordane: A chamber-pot that was brim full, and putting the end of his Belt through the handle of it, buckled it about him in the stead of his weapon, and so walking without a cloak through the street in the day time, all the Boys and Girls ran hollowing after him to look behind him; For his dagger dropt out of the Scabbard.Scabbard: The case or sheath which serves to protect the blade of a sword or dagger when it is not in use (OED)

Another comming from Southwark,Southwark: an area of London in the London Borough of Southwark, east of Charing Cross. From 1550 to 1899 it formed part of the City of London as the Ward of Bridge Without at a very late hour over the BridgeLondon Bridge: a bridge in London, England over the River Thames, between the City of London and Southwark justled against one of the Chain-posts over against St. Magnus Church,St Magnus Church: an Anglican church in Bridge ward of the City of London, located on Lower Thames. It is estimated that the church was erected in the 12th Century who being naturally very quarrelsome in his cups, supposed that some nightwalker had given him that affront; and there-
fore very desperately drew forth his Dagger, and by great fortune strook into the very hollow of the post, and perceiving it to give way, made no further question but he had slain the party: With the sudden apprehension whereof, he leaves the weapon in the wood,


presently begins to devise of some sudden shift to save his own forfeit life: he dares not go home to his house, and knows no man whom he may trust with such a secret: therefore he presently takes boat, down he goes that night to Gravesend, Gravesend: a town in northwest Kent, England, on the south bank of the Thames and from thence gets shipping into the Low-countreys.Low Countries: the district now forming the kingdoms of Holland and Belgium, and the grand-duchy of Luxembourg (OED) The weapon was found the next morning in the post, and was known, and the owner thereof mist by his wife and friends, but not to be heard of. After a twelve-moneth,twelve moneth: one year notice being given to his wife, where he lived, and by circumstances being possest of the mistake, he came over like an Asse as he went and was a jeerjeer: a derisive speech or utterance to the City, his whole life after.

Certain Gentlemen using much to our Taverns some of them affecting Tables, their custome was still when still when: whenever they met to play at Irish,Irish: An old game resembling backgammon (OED) or Tictack,Tictack, or tick-tack: An old variety of backgammon, played on a board with holes along the edge, in which pegs were placed for scoring (OED) and whatsoever the stakestake: That which is placed at hazard; esp. a sum of money or other valuable commodity deposited or guaranteed, to be taken by the winner of a game, race, contest (OED) was, to call in Wine, because they would not charge the house, so that the standers by might drink freely of the Gamesters cost, and thus sometimes they would spend the whole night. Amongst the rest, one observed to be a Shark,shark: a person who sponges on others by cheating at play (OED) that would save his purse, but could never be drawn into any game, or expences, and yet would devour more Wine


than any two in the company, and whilest the rest were either busie all playing, or looking on, he would be still tampering with the cups, till he had stolen himself drunk, and then he would fall asleep in the room. This being noted by the rest whilest he was taking a sound nap in a chair, they devised to put a trick upon him, and watching his waking, they suddenly put out all the lights in the room, and still pretended to hold on their their: in original, "thoir." "E" was printed as "O." Game: the Dice run the Table-men walk, the standers by bet, some on this side, some on that, every cast was named as it was thrown, all which he heard, but saw nothing: This JeastJest: A sportive action, prank, a practical joke (OED) was held up so long, and carried so well, that he presently apprehended, that he was struck blind, and quite bereft the use of his eyes, and so fell into a great passion and clamour: The Gentlemen came about him, and feigned to wonder what he meaned, bid him look up, and be of good chear, he told them, he knew them by their tongues, tongues: their voices but could not discern any one of their faces: at which they seemed to be the more amazed, and so concluded, that he was miraculously deprived of his eye sight, still they called for more lights, more lights; another


answered, there were six in the room already, and if not by them, he could never see at all: one offers to lead him another began to shrive shrive: to hear the confession of (OED) him, perswading him, that sure this judgement was fallen upon him for some great sin he had committed; some he remembred and confest: sure, saith another, he hath been a great sparer of his purse, a stealer of his drink and a dissemblerdissembler: one who conceals his real purposes under a false appearance; one who practises duplicity; a deceiver, hypocrite (OED) with his friend, none of which he denies. At length, when they had got out of him what they could, and jeared him (as they thought) sufficiently, they suddenly caused lights to be brought in, by which finding how he was gull'd, he grew so ashamed, that he who was before a burthenburthen: burden to them, could never after be seen in their company.


I knew a Citizen and a substantiall hous-keeper, who having been drinking late could not find his own door, and though he knew the streets and the posts that stood at other mens gates, and how far distant his house was from them, yet still he rather came short of it or past beyond it; at length (loath to be noted, but more loath to lie upon the stall) he perceived a light in one of his neighbours windows, he raps at the dores, the good man


(being upon some occasion late up at that time) looked out of the window, & asked who was there? and what he would have? Nothing good friend (answered he) but onely to intreat you to direct me where such a man dwels, (naming himself ) and shew me his house; his Neighbour knowing him replied, calling him by his name, I hope no man knoweth that, or at least should know it better then your self: True it is saith he, but not at this time; so his neighbour perceiving in what case he was came down, opened the door, and light him over the way, which how-soever it was secretly carried, yet made his intemperance palpable, even after midnight.


A Malt-man comming reeling at noon day from a Red-lattice, Red Lattice: A lattice painted red as the mark of an alehouse or inn; hence transf. an alehouse, tavern, inn. (OED) wearing about his waste a leathern Belt, buckled before with a thong hanging down, went to turn to the wall, and standing about a yard from thence, screw'd his head on the one side to see who went and passed by; and putting his hand down to grope for somthing to shew the wal, he mist of his aim, and lighted on his thong that hung down, held it out betwixtbetwixt: between his fingers, & pissed in his breeches; the people that


saw the water drop down by his knees, grew to a generall laughter; by which he finding the mistake grew sensible of the plight he was in, and so ashamed, staggered away as fast as he could, like a drunken Coxcomb.A fool, simpleton (OED)