London in 1710, from the travels of Zacharias Conrad von Uffenbach [30 Oct 1710. Return visit to Dr. Woodward]
In the afternoon we again drove to Dr Woodward's,
where we at last attained our object of seeing his things. He again after his manner
kept us waiting for a good half-hour in the anteroom, afterwards regretting that we
had not arrived on the stroke and come half an hour earlier. This is the
discourteous little ceremony that this affected and pedantic mountebank makes a
habit of going through with all strangers who wait on him. He first showed us a
considerable number of all manner of lapidibus
pretiosis, which are to be found here and there in England. After this we saw some minerals and then the petrefacta, which are the most
elegant of all his
collections. He had not a vastly amazing quantity of them, but they were choice and
handsome.
Among other things he showed us shells filled and partly encrusted with
all kinds of stones, even with the hardest flints.
We found especially curious the
collection illustrating prodigiously elegantly the whole generation of shells from
beginning to end in complete sequence.
He had also many varieties of stones figured
with all kinds of plants.
Further, shells encrusted with all manner of metals and
minerals, part of them being also entirely filled with them. Among the latter were a
large quantity of fine cornua Hammonis.
He had a
cupboard filled with all sorts of urns and ancient vases.
In another were large
mineral-snails and great cornua Hammonis, which
were certainly handsome, though their size did not equal those we saw in Limburg at Herr
Reimer's.
In a cabinet he had a considerable number of manuscripts
dealing with English natural philosophy, which,
so he told us, he had for the most part written himself. As he shut this cabinet he
said that he would now prove to us that he was not 'idle'. We could not immediately
recall the meaning of the word in English and thought, from the pronunciation, that
he meant to say that he was not 'eitel' (vain). Since he was making such a boast of
his own works we could scarce restrain our laughter. Among these books was a volume
in which he had had all his shells tolerably well drawn. Further, an elegant
herbarium vivum Anglicanum collected by him,
where the plants were extraordinarily fresh and well preserved.
In another room in a
lacquered cabinet he had a tolerable collection of all manner of shells, where we
saw one vastly curious thing, namely the Muscovy vegetable sheep, which is described
in detail by Adam Olearius in his
book
of travels. It was not quite a span high, light brown, and the wool did
not so much resemble ordinary long wool as the fibres that grow in a reed, though
they are somewhat more
woolly and have longer hair, as you might say; this plant
takes nourishment through the feet that it has in place of roots. This was one of
the greatest curiosities that we saw here, or, indeed, in the whole of our travels.
Dr Woodward showed us all his things with
such affected gestures and rolling eyes that we could not restrain our laughter,
although he dislikes this just as much as being interrupted; indeed he requires
everyone to hang on his words like an oracle, assenting to and extolling everything.
One has to listen ad nauseam to his opinions
de diluvio & generatione antediluviana & lapidum
postdiluviana. He recites whole pages of his writings, accompanying
them with continuous encomiums. The most ridiculous thing of all is that he never
ceases looking at himself in the mirrors, of which several hang in each room. In
every respect he behaves like a female and an insolent fool. For a pedant he is much
too gallant and elaborate. He is a man in the thirties, unmarried, but criminis non facile nominandi suspectus. Very ridiculous
stories are told of him, and Herr Erndel gave
a most diverting account of him in his Epistle de
itinere Anglicano. This angered him greatly, and he is continually
railing against this German. It is thought that for this reason he has taken a
dislike to Germans and raises a great many difficulties about showing them his
things, which was certainly our experience.